Category: Let's talk
Hey. Just wondering what your experiences have been as far as people givng you too much unecessary assistance...for example, telling you where steps are when you have your cane, handing you things and telling you what they are, friends telling you who they are even after you have recognized their voices, etc. Are there certain ways that you react in order to not appear offensive or anything like that?
Just be honest and say i don't need help at the moment. If i need help with anything i will let you know. Something like that.
Well, I tend to agree with Nikos, however there are some ohter points that need to be considered. I guess the first one is how often will I be dealing with this person. If its somebody who I'm just meeting one day at a bus stop, or wants to help me across the street or something, I probably won't get too verbose about my acceptance/refusal of their offer. Now if its someone who is new at my workplace, I might be more detailed, simply because I have to work with this individual, and don't want to have to suck it in every day, or explain what I do and don't need every day. There's probably more I could say, but this is my kneejerk reaction. On the lighter side of things, it makes great board-posting topics when we need material here.
Lou
Well, I tend to agree with Nikos, however there are some ohter points that need to be considered. I guess the first one is how often will I be dealing with this person. If its somebody who I'm just meeting one day at a bus stop, or wants to help me across the street or something, I probably won't get too verbose about my acceptance/refusal of their offer. Now if its someone who is new at my workplace, I might be more detailed, simply because I have to work with this individual, and don't want to have to suck it in every day, or explain what I do and don't need every day. There's probably more I could say, but this is my kneejerk reaction. On the lighter side of things, it makes great board-posting topics when we need material here.
Lou
I agree with Nicos and Loo on this one. If it's someone who wants to take me across the street, I either say, "Thanks, but I'm fine, thanks anyway," or simply allow them too. As far as someone I worked with etc, I'd probably explain to them what my needs are also. Same goes for new friends who were curious, etc.
Yeah if it's someone helping me across the street I kindly decline the offer and thank them anyways, but someone I work with they already seem to know my needs.
Troy
good topic brooke. it seems like i go through that on a daily basis, lol. if someone does those kinda things, i just tell them that's what my cane's for, and that i'll let them know if i need help.
my French teacher is terrafied of me I think. I'm her first blind student I'm guessing. We had a fire drill the other day and she wanted like, three students to sighted guide me and I'm like,
um thanks, but I only need one of you.
So yeah, just... what the others said before me.
I agree with Lou also it's a pain but I just smile and say not today but, maybe tomorrow you can give me hand.
Lol nice. Yeah, those are good points. Lol Cala, I've kinda been there as well, or people who ask me who is with me, and when I say no one I'm by myself, they get really surprised. That happened at regestration.
It gets more interesting when in my case my wife is with me and I have to go to the mensroom. Several people have said to her "are you going in there with him?"
I get that too, where people are su'prised or worried when I'm by myself. I usually don't mind if people offer to help me but it depends how they do it. For instance, if they just grab me (while sometimes or sometimes not telling me they're going to help me), I will usually look at them and pull away and say that "it's alright; I got it" (that I can do it), or I tell them it would be better for me to hold their arm, while doing just that. Those are the only kinds of unnecessary assistance things that really get to me, when someone unexpectedly grabs me or does so while verbally assuming they know what I want or what I'm going to do. Other than that, if someone just asks if I need help or tells me where I am, I politely answer the question either "yes please" or "no thankyu" and briefly explain what I'm doing/trying to do, or to their helpful comments I will either say "thank you" or "OK" or nod depending on how I'm feeling and whether the comment was helpful or something I would have known that thing anyway.
It drives me crazy when my family gives help when I don't want Like tell wheree the steps are when I have my cane Now if I didn't have it I wouldn't mind. But when I say something about it they say I just don't want you to get hurt. When my father in law is more likelyto fall then me. My hubby I have proved that I can do things better then him sometimes. I could say lots more but I agree with most of the other stuff
These days it seems if I'm by myself and somebody wants to help me and I don't need it, I just politely say no and they accept it as such. Either people in Seattle actually have some sense, or else I'm broadcasting fifty-thousand watts of leave-me-alone vibes or something. LOL! I'll relate one little incident me and my girlfriend had while we were in a mall. We decided to do what I call a mall crawl. That's when the girlfriend and I with our workable but not extraordinary mobility skills, she with her guide dog and me with my cane, go through a nearby mall without bringing along sighted assistance. So we just finished eating at the food court and we need to weave our way through the tables. Some young guys, probably teenagers or twenty-somethings, start yelling out directions, but they do it like this. "Go-right-go-right-right-right-right-right-right-right-right!" Um, could they not have just said it once, or do they think we're just going to move in a tiny little increment like a video game, so in order for us to make a smooth turn, they have to repeat the word "Right" or whatever. We actually thought it was funny. It reminded me of a Bill Cosby routine where he's talking about how parents have to talk to children, such as "Come-here-come-here-come-here-come-here, here! here! here!!!" Like that. Too damn funny. We ended up getting out of the maze of tables despite the atempts of our young do-gooders. LOL!
I was walking down a long hallway toward a closet once. This little boy was giving me directions in sync with my cane. He knew where I was going, and his speech wasn't exactly perfect. I sounded like he was saying "stwaight, stwaight, stwaight, stwaight, stwaight, toown!" I laughed about that for quite awhile. He was really trying to help, so I thanked him.
Lou